One day, my brain called a staff meeting.
Logic showed up on time with a spreadsheet.
Common Sense joined via Zoom, muted.
Anxiety burst through the door yelling, “I RAN THE NUMBERS AND WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE.”
Creativity arrived late with snacks and zero explanation.
Overthinking brought a 47-page presentation titled “Every Embarrassing Thing You’ve Ever Done Since 2009.”
The meeting agenda was simple: “Should we relax?”
Logic said, “Yes.”
Common Sense nodded.
Creativity said, “What if we learn the ukulele instead?”
Anxiety screamed, “RELAXING IS A TRAP.”
Overthinking said, “Remember that weird thing you said once? Let’s replay it in 4K.”
Then my brain voted.
The result?
I stayed awake at 2:37 a.m. inventing fake arguments, planning my future, reliving my past, and wondering if I should drink water or if that would somehow make things worse.
Meanwhile, my body was just like:
“I wanted sleep.”
So no, I am not crazy.
I just have:
- a brain that runs too many apps at once
- thoughts with no off switch
- and a personality that accidentally overclocks itself
Guess what,
I am mentally multitasking without adult supervision.